number two thought: i want to be someone who dreams up this stuff. i want to be a part of a conversation. i don't want to simply live in someone else's application.
number three thought: this isn't about "church" in the meetings or in the time. its about life. or should be. this whole ideology could be easily ignored or picked apart (and i think that the speakers/writers/thinkers at the head of "the movement" realize that) or argued for days upon end, but what it comes down to (at least as i see it) is:
people, getting together, trying to figure out how to live like God wants them to, trying to live the kingdom, following Jesus, all that jazz, together in small communities (at first), and this is what they've come up with. and now that they've been living/learning it for a while now, trying to correct false impressions, and share where they're at.
i wanna live it. you know?
i don't want it to be theology out of a textbook (yes, i understand bible is a book of text about theology. yes. i do believe the bible. no, i haven't worked out the paradox of my desires yet. yes, i probably will soon)
i wanna live in this community of people.
oh wait, I do.
I live on campus, with three amazing beautiful girls who I get to love on, giggle with, eat with, do chores for, serve, and even occasionally be frustrated with. this is what Jesus is talking about I'm pretty sure. Or at least, what I need to be doing right now in the moment.
for all my talk dissing friendship at whitworth, (see xanga for full apology/annulment), my newest thought process is COMMUNITY. I know, not especially profound, but still, I think, closer to the answer.
Something that Tony mentioned a lot, is the idea of messiness. and grittiness. and not having all the answers, but going for it anyways.
And its really easy to get into arguements, but a little harder to discuss. Thats something that i've been missing as of late. conversations where we don't have all the answers. where we probe and prod each others thoughts. and play devils advocate, not for the sake of being right, but for the hope that it would lead to greater truth. or come closer to the Truth. how do I lead conversations to that place without it being me stating my opinion and people either agreeing or disagreeing, but not calling me out? Do I just start calling other people out? (this generally turns into argument quickly). i want to delve.
i don't have all the answers. the only problem with this...humility...? is that i really don't think you do either. and i'm also convinced in my mind, that since at least i've come to terms with my ignorance, I must know more than you. (kind of a socratic complex when i word it that way)
and if you think you don't know, you just don't say anything, and then we're still standing on square one, only now i feel dumb and full of myself for stating my thoughts so completely that they're now standing for truth.
once again, completely distracted before this blog ended.
1 comment:
not sure where these thoughts were birthed, but they are excellent.
i like how Jesus never intended to leave the ugliness out of life. because He knows that we will still be beautiful despite that. or at least we have the capability to become so.
good call.
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