It is April, and I am so tired. I have been going and going and going for so long, and I haven't breathed in so long. I am moving to Toronto soon, so in my limited spare time, my brain has been exploding with possibilities of a new life.

Today I went to church to hear Whitworth women's choir. Their voices were beautiful, but all I could do in the stillness of listening was to cry. I am so tired. I need to sleep. I need to rest. I need to come back in touch with the core of my identity.

I also need to plan a fundraiser for iClub, to write a few more papers this week, to plan a bachelorette party, to run elections and do the rechartering stuff for iClub, to attend a meeting with Women's Auxiliary, to go to all my classes, to figure out budget stuff, to work 10-12 hours a week so I don't need to leave home this summer to work, to read GD papers, and of course, my normal reading and homework.

I can't survive by just doing that necessary stuff.

I need relationship and community,

so this week I also need to have coffee with friends whom I love, I need to eat chilean food at Global Hearth, I need to reconnect with people feeling abandoned and unloved by me, and I need to start doing my "last time to ________" activities all over spokane.

.

Today in the car, we were talking about Christianity. I made the preposterous claim that with God, I don't need to be perfect, that I can give other people grace, and receive grace from them when I fall short. And that I don't need other people to satisfy my needs, that I can somehow rest in a greater identity of Christ.

.

Its true.

but why do I need to do all these things then?

.

grace and truth.

love,

Christine