I hate being negative. A lot of the people that are around me right now, who I do love and appreciate, seem to all be in this negative place right now. Laura is really homesick. Jessica is pretty homesick and pissed at how patriarchal and horrible at dealing with rape/women's issues this society is. KP is KP. i love KP, but she does tend to be pessimistic.
I love my afterschool program, but it drains me.
I love these kids, but they drain me.
I was supposed to write a huge research paper this week.
I spent a good 5+4+4+4 = 17 hours with my kids this week, all 12-14 year olds. (not including the 3 hours I spent in class talking about my kids)
I'm leaving so soon. Just as they're starting to trust me and open up.
and there's nothing i can do about it.
I hate feeling powerless.

There is a Jesus who makes a whole lot more sense when I'm surrounded by suffering. He is Good and He is God.
Proverbs for today
Do not withhold good from those who deserve it when its in your power to help them. If you can help your neighbor now, don't say, "Come back tomorrow, and then I'll help you." 3:27-28
And a Psalm for Jacob Zuma and my township kids
Give justice to the king, O God,
and righteousness to the king's son
Help him judge your people in the right way;
let the poor always be treated fairly.
May the mountains yield prosperity for all,
and may the hills be fruitful,
(because the king does what is right.)
Help him to defend the poor,
to rescue the children of the needy,
and to crush their oppressors. 72:1-4

Easter and Shalom

After sending a miniature essay facebook message to my friend in Spokane, I realized that I've become my own little expert on Africa and aid... I realize that I sort of have an educational backing that is more authentic, but I haven't really been spending that much time in rural areas at all. or in bigger cities. its mostly been Kayamandi township
I went on a roadtrip across the southern coast, which was BEAUTIFUL. it was also touristy, in a chill/beachy/mountainy/occasionally hippie sort of way.

but really, who am i to know Africa? or even South Africa?
i've been so secluded here.
and i'm learning a lot from my classes.

but i've been living in paradise. a small safe town with cheap food and cute shops.