On Beginning to see what I'm here to learn

"You know Christine, graduating high school is going to be the biggest thing I will have done in my whole life" she told me suddenly. I was suddenly ashamed of all my well-meant earlier admonitions to think bigger than city college. She's right, in a small way, but her brains are capable of doing anything in the world.
This girl who used to talk about leaving Fresno for college has realized that she is responsible for her family. What's more, she has realized that her family is her priority; despite outside influences pulling one way or the other. They would let her leave, and they would be proud of her successes. She knows it. She is choosing to stay. I am humbled by her strength, even as a confused shy high school senior. And I am going to scream so loudly at her graduation ceremony this May.

* * * * *

A girl had just come in to ask for an internship, and eventually mentioned that we knew her sister. As she was leaving my coworker says, "that's my sister-in-law. She married my wife's brother"

* * * * *

In one of my 1-1 listening sessions, a girl told me she thought Fresno was getting better, because she remembered the violence growing up, and having to go to funerals. There's not a funeral for a young person every weekend any more. When I asked what she wanted Fresno to be like (another city, specific area of town, or something from tv/movies), she thought about it and said a local private university, because its quiet and peaceful and the grass is actually green there.

* * * * *

Surrounded by people coming from much more communal-minded families (cultures), I am filled with thankfulness that they accept and love me, even as I am selfish and individualistic. I am learning to live well with my mother, and appreciating my incredible greater family.
There's this boy in my life, (we're "dating exclusively", which I think means boyfriend/girlfriend in high school lingo). His parents have a total of 16 siblings, giving him over a hundred cousins. I'm impressed.(i have a hard time focusing when I start thinking about him... guess this is the end of my post)

On Being in Fresno again

I've started half a dozen blogs since returning Home (in all senses of  that word). The words haven't come out right, yet. I've decided to not be so ambitious as to fully explain my current feelings or thoughts, but instead share some ideas I've been pondering.

A friend recently read Thomas Merton's Seven Storey Mountain, which I read last summer. What I took out of it, was from a simple conversation that Merton has with a friend before even entering a religious order. How does one become a saint? by wanting to become one.

"ecumenicism at  its best, means you walk away more deeply connected to your own tradition of faith" -Mary Jo  (who also said the faith of Muslims she lived with showed her what faith really could be)

"Each day holds a surprise. But only if we expect it can we see, hear, or feel it when it comes to us. Let's not be afraid to receive each day's surprise, whether it comes to us as a sorrow or as a joy. It will open a new place in our hearts, a place where we can welcome new friends and celebrate more fully our shared humanity" Henry Nouwen, Bread for the Journey

Everything so far has added up to being Ready for This, Here Right Now, and somehow what is to come is going to take the grand sum of everything I will have learned up to then.

that I could learn Spanish, and be fluent. (related- that I know more than I give myself credit for. apparently my accent is impeccable, according to an older man with questionable intentions)

that I want to find a family to live with in the southern half of town. preferably Spanish speaking, but maybe Lao.

I already have more education that 3/4ths of the those older than 25 in this county.

There are plenty of other educated intelligent boomerangers who have returned and are actively making a difference in this town (especially with youth).

I am attracted to people who go All Out towards some desire/ideal. preferably altruistic. (related- apparently my huge list of qualifications for ABoyInLife aren't that impossible, they are just intensely localized)

I am happy here. I feel lucky (/blessed) to be here. I feel really really lucky to be working here.